"I'm so angry! I can't believe she said that!" I exclaimed to my friend after my (at the time) girlfriend and I had a fight. "I mean, how could she say that," I pouted.

My friend, in turn, offered the greatest level of sympathy by replying, "well what did she mean by it?" A question that I couldn't answer, as I had made perhaps the most classic of mistakes... I didn't ask. Like many people, instead, I took what she had said personally, and in the end, caused a fight between us over nothing.

How often does that happen? How often do we hear something that we do not like, and instead of seeking clarification we quickly jump on it as an attack on our pride. Which is really all it is, the person who said it hurt our pride (Proverbs 13:10). Maybe they didn't make us feel like we looked good, or that we were good at something we thought we were, or maybe they were just trying to express their feelings and it just came out wrong... and in return we get angry instead of trying to better ourselves.

With my wife, the failure to listen to the other has been the cause of most of our fights. Instead of enjoying ourselves we both have jumped on the other for something they have said... sometimes even storming out of the room in anger. Only to return a little bit later to apologize, and learn that what they said was nothing against us at all, and they were only trying to help (Proverbs 19:20).

We are told a wise man is slow to anger, but quick to listen. It is a good reminder of how far we, at least I, have to go. Today, when someone says something to upset you, ask yourself why they are doing it. Ask yourself if something is bothering them, or if they are simply trying to help you... be quick to listen, and slow to respond with anger.